How Your ‘Favorites’ ★ Influence Your Success

The late Jim Rohn was an American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker who mentored the likes of Tony Robbins and Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup book series).  I recently stumbled across an article that credited Rohn with saying “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”   I was immediately fascinated by these words.  How true! Since life doesn’t exist in a vacuum, the people around us inevitably influence how we think, act, and ultimately how successful we become.

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Thinking back, this makes total sense to me.  As I think about the various chapters of my life, it’s so easy to see how the extent to which I succeeded, or didn’t succeed, along the way was influenced by the people I chose to spend my time with. That’s not to say that we are only a product of those around us and that we don’t have to take responsibility for our own success, decisions, and actions. After all, as adults we decide who we allow into our lives and are accountable for the things that we do (or don’t do). It’s also not to say that we should be around people only if they have something to offer to us.

As a matter of fact, I think this whole concept presents us with an incredible responsibility.  The thought that I play some part in the success of those I am closest to makes me want to do my best to do my part well. What kind of influence have I been to others?  Have I more often brought someone’s average up or down? I love the idea that I may bring someone up in some way.  But, we’ve all heard the saying “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”  According to Rohn, being the smartest (or funniest, most generous, nicest, etc.) person in the room must mean that your average has nowhere to go but down. And intentionally surrounding yourself with certain people so that you can be the best in the group may feed your ego in the short term, but will only hurt you in the long run. So, while I want to bring others’ averages up, I also want my average to improve.

I think the bottom line is that we all have areas in our lives in which we excel, and others in which we want to be better.  Identify those areas in which you can bring other people up, and find ways to do that.  On the flip side, think about the ways you want to improve.  Then seek out people who can elevate you in those areas. Be the best version of yourself and you will always have something to offer those around you.  At the same time, carry a bias towards self improvement and continuously learn from the people you choose to spend the most time with.